Why I Don’t Floss: ADHD, Habit Formation, and Executive Dysfunction
- Mia Perry Bowick
- Jan 23
- 4 min read
Some thoughts on ADHD habit formation
I went to the dentist this morning.
I sat there, anxiously awaiting that one shameful question which would inevitably be asked…
Have you been flossing?
The Universal Lie About Flossing
For quite some time now, I have been under the impression that people generally lie about flossing their teeth.
I simply refuse to believe you are all out there flossing away, day and night, delighted in your attempts to ward off gum disease.
I mean really?
Reeeeallllly?
You floss every day?
Are you the child of a dental hygienist?
We’re all lying to each other and the dentists as well.
Dentist: Have you been flossing?
Me and you: Oh, yes. Of course. (Bold-faced lie.)
Now of course it is absolutely ridiculous to lie to the person who is about to look at your teeth with a magnifying glass under an extremely bright light. They can’t tell, right?
But we continue to do it.
Telling the Truth at the Dentist
This morning, however, while getting my bi-annual cleaning, I decided to come clean.
And I found it really, really funny.
Hygienist: Have you been flossing?
Me: No.
Hygienist: No?? (Genuine surprise.)
Me: Nope! (All praise the one and only truth teller! I refuse to let you shame me!)
Hygienist: Umm… you really should floss. It’s really good for your gums.
Me: Yeah, I know, but I don’t.
Hygienist: (Silence. Genuine loss for words.) Well, ok, then.
Me: Yuuuupp.
And now I am suppressing an all-out giggle fit.
ADHD and the Impossibility of “One More Habit”
The reason I do not floss my teeth has nothing to do with laziness, or lack of care for my mouth health, or general stubbornness (well, maybe a bit of all of those).
The reason really is that I just cannot fathom figuring out how to get another routine or good habit into my life right now.
Or maybe ever.
I am far too busy trying to remember to:
Drink enough water
Exercise
Eat
Close the cupboard doors (and remember that I was probably the one who left them open and not get mad at my husband about it)
Put my toothbrush back in the holder
Put dirty clothes in the hamper
Put dishes in the sink. (I can’t even move on to putting them in the dishwasher until I can get down the habit of emptying the dishwasher to begin with.)
Adopt the clean-as-you-go method so my house doesn’t slowly decompensate into near squalor before I rage-clean the entire place yelling:
WE HAVE TO KEEP THIS PLACE CLEAN FOR THE FUCKING LOVE OF GOD!!!
Pay taxes
TAKE MY MEDS
And the myriad of other daily, weekly, monthly, and annual tasks that come with being a mother of two and the owner of two businesses.
It’s a lot.
It’s a lot for anyone.
But add in my very complex ADHD brain and nervous system and things get even harder.
ADHD, Executive Dysfunction, and Habit Formation
After my diagnosis, I learned that another fun side effect of an ADHD brain is the extreme difficulty we have forming new habits.
As in, behaviors that can occur outside of conscious awareness.
Like driving to the grocery store.
You go often.
It’s five minutes away.
At some point, you stop needing GPS.
Your implicit memory kicks in, the kind of memory responsible for habit, and you can get to and from the store while fully lost in a fantasy courtesy of the latest Bridgerton season.
With ADHD, it can feel like the store is constantly changing locations.
No GPS.
No map.
Just you, fumbling through wrong turns, expending enormous effort, and then inevitably pulling into the parking lot lured by the smell of rotisserie chickens.
Why Habits Don’t Become Automatic With ADHD
Researcher Anthony Dickinson writes about how ADHD brains rely more on goal-driven behavior and have a harder time converting that behavior into habit-driven behavior.
For example, I set the goal of having healthier gums, so I decide I will start flossing every day.
At first, this takes conscious effort:
Remembering the goal.
Remembering to do the thing.
Getting myself to pull the floss out and hack away at my gums.
For many people, over time, this effort-based behavior moves into implicit memory and becomes automatic.
You stop thinking about it.
You just do it.
With ADHD, the goal may move to implicit memory, I implicitly remember that flossing is a thing I want to do, but retrieving that information and converting it into action doesn’t happen.
Instead, we must continue to rely on effort-based behavior.
Every single time.
Running Out of Steam
Every small behavior we try to make habitual continues to take effort.
Effort we may not have after efforting all the things all day long.
We run out of steam.
We burn out.
It’s just too damn much.
That’s why I don’t floss my teeth.
Well, that and perfectionism, novelty seeking, and poor executive function, which all happily conspire against habit formation in my life.
This Is Why I Don’t Floss
Forming habits is hard.
Whether or not you have ADHD.
For me, it’s my gums.
Maybe for you it’s your email inbox.
Or your closet.
Or canceling that gym membership because you never go.
I left the dentist this morning with clean teeth and a clean bill of health—despite not inserting a minty thread between them twice a day.
So there, hygienist.
It’s all good.
Author’s Note on ADHD & Research
It’s important to say this clearly: just because I was a therapist for a long time does not make me an expert in ADHD.
I have two master’s degrees and worked in the field for over a decade without knowing I was neurodivergent.
That alone is its own issue, one I’ll gladly explore in future writing.
I write from personal experience and from research that is, frankly, woefully behind when it comes to neurodivergence in women.
If you have other experiences or newer information, I’d genuinely love to hear it.
Research Referenced
Ceceli, A. O., Esposito, G., & Tricomi, E. (2019). Habit expression and disruption as a function of ADHD symptomology. Frontiers in Psychology, 10, 1997.https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01997
Dickinson, A. (1985). Actions and habits: The development of behavioural autonomy. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society of London. Series B, Biological Sciences, 308(1135), 67–78.https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.1985.0010
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